We'll ask if we can have six in

If not we'll have to have two

Well you're comin' up our end aren't you?

So I'll get one with you

Oh won't he let us have six in?

Especially not with the food

He coulda just told us no though

He didn't have to be rude

You see her in the green dress?

She talked to me at the bar

Well how come it's already two pound fifty?

We've only gone about a yard

Didn't ya see she were gorgeous?

She was beyond belief

But this lad at the side, drinkin' his Smirnoff Ice

Came and paid for her tropical reef

And I'm sitting going backwards

And I didn't want to leave

I said it's high green mate

Via Hillsborough please

Well how funny was that sketch earlier?

Up near that taxi rank

Oh no you would have missed it

Think it was when you went to the bank

These two lads squaring up, proper shoutin'

'Bout who was next in the queue

The kind of thing that would seem so silly

But not when they've both had a few

Well calm down temper temper

You shouldn't get so annoyed

Well you're actin' like a silly little boy

Oh they wanted to be men

And do some fightin' in the street

Said, no surrender, no chance of retreat!

So hidin' in the taxi

'Cause I didn't want to leave

I said it's high green mate

Via Hillsborough please

Well drunken plots hatched to jump it

Ask around, are ya sure?

Went for it but the red light was showin'

And the red light indicates doors are secured