I have been thinking about some basic concepts of everyday life that are considered to be so basic and elementary that I believe it even makes them significantly complicated. Like why do we even talk to each other? Why we need to express ourselves? What’s the point of constantly and unrelentingly searching for something or someone that makes us believe we are connected to the world? Why on earth am i even writing this? I loathe expressing myself, expressing my feelings, my thoughts or even my ideas. because I cannot find the answers for those questions. Knowledge is the power and I am smart enough to avoid letting others to truly know me, I don’t want to let them gain the upper hand over me. But in some ways i crave being known, like when someone deliberately mentions some details about me it makes me get surprised that someone has even noticed that. But in the end of the day it’s pointless, frankly the whole life and its philosophy is utterly pointless and meaningless. I am myself just a tiny little dust suffering on a tiny blue rock in total darkness and emptiness. So again we reached the end of the loop, what is the point of this? No one cares, and if there is someone, what is the point of that? Like i dont care if you care.
Maybe that’s the point, we are all searching for someone or more generally OUR people who can truly understand us and appreciate our meaningless existence (and vice versa) so eventually it makes us believe (delusionally) that our lives are not absurdly worthless. And in order to find OUR people we must express ourselves. So… here’s the final question: what if i’m mentally too exhausted to even care for that? What if I just want to keep my absolute solitude? It’s not humanly possible you might say, but it is. I prefer it that way even if it makes me (more) inhumanly estranged from the whole world. Also I’m not really open to criticisms, so do me a favour and just keep it to yourself.
انی وی..???♀️